What do you think of this short story? - stock shotgun house plans
Henry Jenkins was walking home after rumors late on the streets of rabid gorillas in the night. Jenkins had a phobia of monkeys since I was a child. Reports gorillas still frightened crazy. He knew he was going home. I could be with his gun when they searched his house. He had always been obsessed with home invasion and therefore decided to tank ammunition.
Jenkins took twenty minutes from home across the street to get to. When he parked his car in the garage, he heard several moans and cries. Then we heard a knock box. Henry Jenkins, screamed in horror and ran into the house and closed all doors. He went to his studio and took the old gun. He carried the ball shot and waited nervously.
The beatings grew and he could hear the broken glass and broken wood. I could hear the heavy gorilla down the aisle toward him. Jenkins has tried to stifle a scream, but it was too late ...
A group of vicious rabid gorillas broke down the door of his study and pOunce to him and burst into bloody pieces. Not even took a shot ...
The End
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Stock Shotgun House Plans What Do You Think Of This Short Story?
6 comments:
1. I like the name of the protagonist.
2. I love the brevity, but the story is predictable.
3. You want more active voice in writing.
3a. Short sentences are good for the greatest impact.
4. Active Voice letter contains the following advice from these sources ...
4a. "Let needless words" ...
... of Strunk and White: The Elements of Style "... Help.
4b. Avoid passive verbs and prepositional phrases as well.
Wiki Example ...
"The Passive: The cheese was eaten by mice.
Active voice: "The mouse ate the cheese."
5. If you use an ellipsis at the end of a sentence, with the standard four points instead of three points is to break mid-sentence.
6. Ignore the above if he had fun writing as such.
PS. How would you know an older brother to me, I have often terrorized emphatically, "The monkeys are in the closet and do not think the door is closed and you will kill !"...Huh?
Downtime, all with this lame story you Arent ourselves seriously.
I really do not know what I say ...
Wow, is that ... Well, awesome! My Kind Of Short Story
Wow, is that ... Well, awesome! My Kind Of Short Story
Good! Too bad 'ol Jenkins, aber.
If you are in a "short seller, you can try reading" Pigeons from Hell ", 1930 written by Robert E. Howard. You may obtain a copy online.
My advice to you (if you read too):
Not read (1) the story in the night, and
(2) Ask someone in the house while you are reading.
If you have a vivid imagination to read the story is much better than a film about him.
This fear of the devil out of me.
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